There REALLY _IS_ an Inverse Relationship... (the dangers of Driving While Dissertating [DWD])
While I currently live in the Detroit area, I'm finishing my doctoral degree out of Indiana University, in Bloomington, IN. I thus make a number of drives back and forth between Detroit and Bloomington, which is about an hour's drive SW of Indianapolis. Every time I make the trip, it gets just a bit more disturbing. After the last round-about of driving, my hubby decreed that I'm banned from driving back from future academic hibernations in Bloomington. I have to admit that he may have reason...
The last time I was driving back from Bloomington (I've since taken planes...), I stopped for gas just a few miles before the Michigan border. Hubby's not keen on my propensity to play "gas roulette," nor the fact that I know precisely how many highway miles one can go after the gas "warning" light turns on. Hubby's an engineer and claims no gas does bad things to the car, so you can imagine how it winds him up when I drive on empty. But, I drive a lot, and our little Milk Wagon (aka Honda Element) doesn't have a very big gas tank. I hate stopping for gas!
That wasn't the problem this trip, though. This time, I did the right thing and filled up the gas and got a snack and went on my way. About 30 miles down the road, just as it was getting dark, some weirdo starts beeping and waving at me. Having seen enough "Unsolved Mysteries" episodes wherein some hapless chick falls for this sort of thing and pulls over and then gets hacked into 37 pieces, I of course continued on my way, pretending not to see him. I found it odd when I got some more beeps about 20 miles later, but I didn't think too much of it.
And then, I looked into my sideview mirror and saw something protruding from the passenger side of the car. It didn't take me more than a couple seconds to recognize what it was; I'd seen it before. It was the nozzle from the gas pump...
Turns out that, after I went in and got my snack at the gas stop, I returned to my car in a pensive daze and sped off. Only thing is, I forgot something! Sadly, this isn't the first time this has happened. I was once with one of my academic buddies in Bloomington when, after we had stopped for gas (and snacks) in my awesome white '76 Volvo wagon (that I had acquired for $300), I pulled away and we heard a "swissshhh." Realizing that the gas dispenser had broken off and was shooting gas all around us, we looked at each other and reasoned we'd best get out of there. This time, I had managed to actually take the gas nozzle with me and had driven it across state lines. By then, I figured, well, I'm almost home. I'll just deal with it when I get back.
By the time I got back, I was so tired that I just went inside and figured I'd grab the hose in the AM. When I went back out in the AM, though, someone had actually STOLEN the gas hose?!? There went my souvenir of the whole event.
As for the white Volvo wagon, that was maybe the best car I _ever_ had. It looked like an ambulance, and, once, while out w/the same buddy, I noticed a switch on the side of the steering column. I wondered what it did, of course. And, against the pleas of my buddy, I pulled it one day while we were out and about. Whhhhrrrr whhhrrrrr whrrrrr went the siren!!! It was SOOO awesome (until the engine threw a rod a couple months later). When some jackass pulled out in front of me, off went the siren. When my buddy and I would stop at Taco Bell for some grub and we were stuck behind some veggie chick trying to find something "healthy" and "vegan" on the Taco Bell menu, off went the siren. The guy working the drive thru used to give us free drinks all the time just to hear the siren "one more time."
See, grad school isn't all bad! But, yeah, I must admit, that it didn't do sh*t for my common sense, which already wasn't so plush to begin with. And, so, that's why my hubby's hoping to do the driving me when I go down to defend the diss...and I might just let him, if he didn't have to work. Secure your nozzles good gas owners of Northern Indiana...